Pretty Girl with Headphones: Approach with Caution

Don’t mind the disco ball. (It’s just there for effect.)

Problem: Pretty Girl with Headphones = Unapproachable?

There she is, gorgeous. She’s walking down the street on the sidewalk, or waiting at a bus stop. She may even be shopping at the grocery store or working out at the gym. Whatever she’s doing, she’s right in front of you and the one thing you want is her attention. But there’s one problem, she has earphones in and listening to her music…intently. Does that mean she doesn’t want to be bothered?

Yes and No.

young beautiful hipster woman listening musicIt can be a very fine line to determine whether or not you should tap her on the shoulder. She probably won’t scream at you to leave her alone, but there’s a reason she has the earphones in. So let’s figure this sticky situation out together.

Are you outside on the street? Is she walking really fast? Are you at a bus stop? Around other people or are you two alone? Is it broad daylight or 11:30 at night? Are you at the gym? Is she really focused on her workout or just standing around?


A lot of times we can get so caught up in proving how unafraid we are to approach women that we forget to use our brain.

Like I said before there’s a reason she has the earphones on, most of the time if you just pay attention you might be able to determine why. If it’s late and there aren’t too many people around she might be nervous.

If she’s at the gym she may be waiting for her workout partner or really focused on what she’s doing. Both instances would not be a good idea for you to interrupt her.

If she’s in a bookstore milling around she might just want some alone time. Which isn’t always a reason to not take the chance and get her attention. It may sound like I’m coming off a little negative but what I want to get across is that every time a woman goes out in public it does not mean she’s looking for a mate. Sometimes they just want to chill, you know…like normal people.

Solution: Get her attention (Sort of)

Eye contact is probably one of the most important, yet underestimated and underused use of body language. One of the easiest ways to determine if she just doesn’t want to be bothered period is by throwing a quick glance and smile her way.

Make sure you’re in her general area so she sees it. Don’t hold the glance and smile too long, otherwise it looks creepy. It needs to be quick but effective. Something like, when you’re in the same area of the grocery store reach over for something near her and meet her eye and smile. Usually she’ll either smile back and nod (in a sort of hello gesture) or she’ll give you a placid look and go back to what she was doing quickly (in other words, ignore you).

You have you’re answer right there before you even try to communicate with her verbally.


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