The process of getting a date can be a fragile one. There are a ton of things that you can do to show her your interested, but there are also specific things you should never EVER do if you want to have any hope of hearing her say those sweet words, “Yes, I’d love to go out to dinner with you.”
Those words are only a few breaths away, but you have to be careful. Because one wrong move can make the possibility of hearing them disappear forever.
My friend, lets call him “Overweight T-Shirt Guy”, is friends with a girl named Stephanie. Little does Stephanie know OTG has a crush on her. Lets follow my friend “OTG” and see what happens.
Wrong move #1
One day as OTG and Steph are hanging out with a group of friends, OTG asks Steph, “Hey are you hungry? Do you want to go get something to eat. I’ll pay.”
Here OTG makes his first mistake. Never ask a girl out in general terms. Asking if she’s hungry or if she wants to hang out, can (and more than likely will), put you in the “friend zone”. Make sure to separate the occasion from what you usual do together. In other words, don’t be scared. Man up and ask her the right way. She’ll respect that.
Wrong move #2
OTG realizes his mistake and asks Steph out properly, only OTG won’t look her in the eye and is wearing a dirty star wars T-shirt, baggy jeans and the same shoes he wears everyday. Stephanie immediate says she can’t because she has to wash her old grandmothers feet.
Confidence is important. Caring about the way you look is important. It shows her that you have the ability to handle situations and you care enough about her to look your best. No need for a suit and tie, this is more psychological. If you see yourself as someone great, she will too. And the easiest way to do that, is to look great.
Wrong Move #3
OTG remembering that Steph’s grandmother died 2 years ago, is immediately hurt and angered by her rejection. He then says with pleading eyes “Why won’t you go out with me? Just give me a chance!”
Ah, good ol’ OTG. I think this one is pretty clear. If she says no. Save the crying for later and leave it at that. Don’t make it awkward by asking questions or trying to convince her. Just say ok and move on. Anything else will just make you look desperate.
Wrong Move #4
Steph sensing how awkward the situation has become decides to end the conversation and just go home. The next day, early in the morning, OTG texts Steph and says “Good Morning.”
Depending on the situation, it’s a good idea to let the person who just rejected you, have some space. Let me rephrase, It’s ALWAYS a good idea to let the person who just rejected you, have some space. Texting or calling them 12 hours after they said no to you just makes you look obsessive. Especially if there’s no point. A good amount of time for things to get back to normal for OTG and Steph is around 2 or 3 days.
Wrong Move #5
After Steph fails to respond to OTG within the hour, he gets angry and decides never to try to get a date ever again.
Failure is a prerequisite for success. Never let a rejection keep you from getting out there again. Dating is just another way for you to become more self aware, self confident and all around better with the opposite sex. The more you do it, the better you’ll get. So a big thank you to Mr. Overweight T-shirt Guy for showing us a better way to get to that ever-elusive “Yes.”