The Scenario: You get invited to a party. The only person you know is also the host, who will undoubtedly be busy with a million different things.
You’re nervous because you don’t know anyone there but you’re excited because as a gentleman you’re aware of the opportunities this can present, and as a suspenderman you never ignore a chance to test your skills as a gentleman.
You ring the doorbell, enter the room, look over at the groups of unknown strangers standing with their drinks and talking.
What do you do?
It’s never really said out loud how uncomfortable parties can be if you don’t know any one. And even if you do, you certainly don’t want to latch on to one or two people the entire time you’re there.
It can be uncomfortable, sometimes downright unpleasant if you deem yourself the sort to sip on the same glass of beer all night and people watch.
With that said, there is a way to overcome the oppression of the I-have-no-idea-who-any-of-these-people-are-kill-me-now party.
Tip 1.) Be Confident and Comfortable.
This may sound generic, but before you even get there you should be in full blown suspenderman mode.
Remember being confident and comfortable has everything to do with how you feel, which has a lot to do with how you look.
Every man should have at least one outfit that makes him feel like God’s gift to women (come on, you know which one I’m talking about ). And if you need ideas, we’ve got them here.
As a rule, its better to be overdressed than under-dressed. It’s easier to make a suit look casual than it is to dress up a t-shirt and ripped jeans. So shave, put on that cologne that attracts all the ladies and dress to kill.
Tip 2.) Take your time, but don’t take too much time.
When you first arrive, make sure to say hi to the host, who if not busy, might introduce you to some people. If not, say hi and offer to help (this can be another way to meet people).
After that’s done, grab a drink at the bar, survey the room and start making your introductions.
Classic Introduction: “Hi I’m____. Nice to meet you. So how do you know so and so…”
It’s as simple as introducing yourself and asking someone in a group/or by themselves, how they know the host. That alone will get the conversation going, especially if you’re relaxed.
Tell them how you know the host, and from there lead off into other conversation.
Listen and pay attention to the conversations around you and what’s going on, that way you’ll have something to say and talk about with other people in the group.
Tip 3.) This is not a group interview.
Don’t make the mistake that 99% of all the other guests make. When you’ve started a conversation with someone, don’t ask them a series of job interview questions.
What do you do? Where are you from? How long have you known so-and-so? That gets really boring really fast.
Instead, tell some stories that might be related to the host. Another option is to listen really well and make intriguing comments about what the other person’s interest are.
It usually doesn’t take much to find out what a person likes and doesn’t like.
The key is to listen and use that info as a jumping off point for a new conversation.
Tip 4.) Movement is a sign of life.
The last thing you want to do is get to know one person and stick to them like glue the entire evening.
Unless you’ve been indoctrinated in a group of friends, you want to avoid that awkward moment when you run out of things to talk about and move on.
The easiest way to do that is to say something like,
“If you’ll excuse me, I better go find so and so and see if they need any help with the drinks.”
After that go find the host and see if they need help, so you’re not a liar, and find a new group of people to introduce yourself to (the classic intro works well here too).
When you move through the room talking to various people you stop yourself from feeling trapped and ease the tension that comes from only knowing a few people.
Also feel the vibe of the room. Certain people will vibe more with your personality than others, those are the ones you want to get contact info from.
They have the potential to be future friends.
Tip 5.) Remember, it’s just a party.
Last but not least is to get your mind right. Think of the get-together as frivolous and fun.
It’s only important in the sense of you making an appearance for the host, anything else is icing on the cake.
Get there with the mindset that these people don’t even know you.
They’re not waiting for you to do or say something stupid. When you arrive they probably won’t even notice. Meaning that when you get there and walk up to a group of people you don’t know, smile and have fun.
It’s okay to get involved in the conversation, it’s okay to laugh and tease a bit, it’s alright to make a stupid joke.
After all, who cares?
If you choose to, you can make the decision to never see these people again.
So go for it.